Community Corner

Hercules Moms Talk: Raising Children from Different Generations

In this installment of Moms Talk, Hercules Moms Council member Rena Montuya talks about raising children from two different generations.

I had my first child when I was 16 years old and my second child 20 years later. I am 36 with one adult child and one little baby. I never thought I would have more kids because just raising my son as a single mother was hard enough. His biological father and I broke up when my son was 5. We were just young and both needed to establish ourselves, but always remain on good terms for the sake of our child.

When my son walked down the aisle when he graduated high school, I thought to myself, "What am I going to do with my life now? I've raised my boy as best as I know with the resources I have, and now it's time for him to fly on his own wings.” I literally broke down to his father and said, "Now what?" His response was: "College."  I am in a loving relationship now with another man and we have decided to start a young family together.

The beauty of my children being many years apart lies in the fact that I have had the time to learn from the mistakes I’ve made with my older child. Still being a teenager when I had my son, I still wanted to hang out with my friends and party—do the things most adolescents want to do. I also had to work to pay bills and used the help of my grandmother to watch my boy. I was able to buy him the toys that he wanted, but not nurture him and spend the amount of time with him that I would have liked to.

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Now that I’m older and in a stable relationship, I spend most of my time with my daughter—taking her on play dates and to different toddler classes, doing the things I was unable to do as a teenage mom.

Other than having more time to spend with my baby and making more mature decisions as a parent, my relationship with both of my kids are the same. The bond I have with both of them is very strong.

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With a little less energy and a lot more wisdom, I'm ready for motherhood the second time around.


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